I was so excited to start this study I even read chapter 1 as soon as I got the book 2 weeks before the study even started. Now it is Friday and I should have posted on Tuesday. I am so late, but I have had such a hard week at work. I just don't understand how people can be so evil and yet appear to prosper. 2 people got fired this week and for no other reason than the fact the boss felt like showing everyone how big and important they are and don't ever cross them because they hold all the cards. I have seen these people do some really cold hearted things in the last few years and I know that they will have to answer to God for their deeds.
Now onto the book.
In the book Micca says Loss is inevitable. We lose things every day. Some things are so small that we hardly notice, while others are so big they hurt - a lot. In any situation, God's presence is certain. I have had some big losses in my life that I am still reeling from, but I think that last line is the one thing I forget. God's presence is certain.
Several years ago I went through a time that I did not think I would make it out of. This was my unthinkable situation coming true. But I can remember one day, when I was absolutely at my lowest, I don't think I could have gotten any lower, and I felt such a sense of peace come over me and I knew that things would be okay. I still fight feelings, emotions and sometimes other issues from that time. When I first started coming out of the situation and these feelings or emotions would come up, it would almost throw me into a depression, but I have noticed lately that I don't let it get that far. These last few weeks, I feel like I have really been battling my thoughts. It could be something as little as I thought a co worker wasn't being nice enough to me and that aggravated me, to really big issues. But I have recognized these feelings or thought as attacks and know that this is not what God has planned for me.
Our past definitely shapes us. I think back to when I was younger, even when I was first married, before life got hard. I was so carefree and different from who I am now. But I didn't go to church and I didn't study the bible and I didn't lean on God. Then life happened and I got hit with some really big trials and I did not come out the same person. The only thing is I am not sure I like the person who did come out compared to who I was going in. I have new fears that I can't combat and I haven't completely gotten over the old fears.
But the book says Our present fears are fueled by our past experiences. Nevertheless, God doesn't want us to go through the rest of our lives justifying our fears. Nor does He want us to live behind some protective wall that shields us from what might happen. God wants to teach us that it's safe to trust Him. Even if we don't have all the answers, our past will never make sense until we invite God into our present. The we will see He has been there all along. I have such big trust issues now, that sometimes I am not sure I will ever overcome them. But, I know that God doesn't want that for me or for my life and what he promises he fulfills. I see that all through his word. I read or heard, I can't remember, that God has a plan for our lives but because we have freewill we can choose not to follow that path. We lose the blessings that God had planned for us, but we don't have to follow His plan. However, when we get off that path that God has chosen for our life and we come to a point where we realize that we do not want to continue down that wrong path, God will meet us where ever we are and make a new path back to where he wanted us to be in the first place. I think this is like inviting God into our present. We can't go back and change the past, sometimes we miss the blessings that we should have received and didn't and sometimes we can't understand why that thing happened to us but God will get us where we need to be. For me I am not really sure where that is, but I hope and pray I am finally on that path that God creates to get me back to where he wants me to be. I need to trust Him because no matter what, he won't let me down, he won't leave me or betray me or even lie to me.
In Jeremiah God tells us that He knows the plans He has for us and they are plans for good not evil to give us a future and a hope. This has been my verse for a few years now and whenever I feel like something is not going my way or someone is out to get me, I recite this to myself and remember that God can take what others intend for my evil and turn it to my good and that gives me great comfort. He will not go anywhere. He will always be beside me.
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